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Let me know if I have broccoli between my teeth. Yes, cancer patients still have open to us all the normal ways to be embarrassed in public. Set me up with your bald single friends.

Forgive me and tell me to take a Xanax. I still love you and need your attention and sometimes, a reminder that Meds Are Good. Please ask me before you send the details of my projectile vomiting to your prayer chain. Remind me that I have a therapist and that there is sometimes TMI even between friends who love each other. As necessary, gently nudge me to the person who is paid to listen to my overwhelming bullshit.

Let me talk about death and pain and suffering. Oh, wait, the divorce is final. Never mind. To me it looks like an alien eating some strange eggs Malibu, where are u? Posted by CrackHo at AM 15 comments:.

Labels: bad language , candy , chemo , infusion , TMI. Tuesday, August 26, Where do we grow from? After talking to C Ho tonight I've realized that being mad as hell is ok. Cancer sucks!! You can all watch C Ho's video of "truthiness" about how she feels about the cancer now that chemo is showing its monster cancer killing self. What I find hard is that chemo stops you in your tracks in a physical manner Living through the effect of battling cancer is quite another!

Joni's good news via phone conversation tonight is that everything hurts but her ovaries I think there is a small praise God somewhere in that! BCB,hold on to that because to think of this suffering puts me under the covers. My sister deserves good and happiness. God, though, is big and better. I hold on to that truth that He is in control; He has His princess under the royal orders of heaven and I can't do any better than that!

Plans are in the making for eyelash lessons from the drag queen on Saturday Now, if you are planning a wedding FYI, these are "chemo eye lash lessons" We somehow figure out a way to grow from all of this Love all out to those of you on blog, Black Canary Barbie aka granniebarbie. MAD 'Ho! Warning: Foul Language. CrackHo here; didja miss me?? Just couldn't get that Malibu Barbie Weather Report film finished today.

Looks like we'll have plenty more chances to hear from our intrepid Malibu with more storms churning up from Havana yuck, don't say churn. Labels: bad language , butt , date , TMI , tough road , tropical storm fay. Monday, August 25, What up? OK, maybe ravaged is too dramatic; it rained and rained a lot. Mom of C'Ho has been totin' the 'ho to chemo, and playing the demanding role of Mom of 3 Sinnergirls.

Most importantly, Star Sinnergirl AKA Crack-Ho has kept a heady schedule consisting of chemo, doc appointments, lunches, brunches and more. She is one tired 'ho. Remember that even though we're all chirpy sinnergirls, it's a long, tough road and Crack'Ho and her backup band need your continued prayers and blog visits. Toodles, MB. Labels: chemo , nap , tough road , tropical storm fay. Those who know what this means, can laugh. Those who don't, can wonder. Posted by Malibu Barbie at PM 1 comment:.

Labels: blender blades. A wonderful event chez Infusion today was the arrival of Black Canary Barbie with a giant gift bag with mass quantities of candy for the infusion picnic. Even more wonderful: some of it was wearable! That BCB thinks of everything, including edible accessories!

She then gave in to temptation. Funny nobody in the Suite wanted to try any candy after that Obligatory factual updates: 1.

Doc Hen OMG!! Has everything to do with avoiding brain cancer. An avoidance which is top on the 'Ho's list. So CrackHo will spend part of the Yuletide under a very expensive tanning lamp like to tan your innerds. Will def cut down on the snackage she consumes during the holidays. At least I'll be able to fit into my 'ho 'ho 'ho attire. Doc Hen sez no stomach tube so we won't have to worry about mashing up Freebster Boings most excellent chocolate and red pepper cookies into liquid CrackHo has discovered that Beldar Conehead is the dad, so therefore she cannot be Beldar.

Connie Conehead just isn't bling enough for this here site, and Pyraamar the mom's name has been optioned by Mother o'CrackHo. You can call it infusion but it feels like chemo. You can put lipstick on a pig and call it Monique but it is still a pig. You can call her CrackHo and she's still Hey Monique can I borry yo' lipstick?? Labels: accessories , candy , conehead , freebster boings , hair , infusion , mother.

Tired of making Chia-'Hos every time I brushed my hair, tired of my hair blowing through the wind instead of the wind blowing through my hair , CrackHo, on the advice of Chris at EnVy Salon in Roswell go there, he will make you beautiful and happy , decided it was time to go retro as Beldar Conehead. Control what you can, baby!!

My wonderful hairdresser Chris, advisor, part-time therapist and soon-to-be famous star in the movie about the Cheating Bastard playing himself the Fabulous Hairdresser, not the C. He "got rid of a symptom" of cancer: that is, I don't make no more Chia-'Hos everytime I brush my hair.

We celebrated with a touch of prosecco and some tears and a lot of laughter! Thank you, Chris! Posted by CrackHo at PM 9 comments:. Labels: beldar , chia-'ho , chris , conehead , envy , hair. Monday, August 18, The latest from the sinnergirls. All's well. C'Ho's newly shorn head is absolutely beautiful. I keep telling her she has a great dome, and she does.

Plus, it brings out her stunningly big blue eyes. What a woman. Next up? The 'Ho has second chemo this Wednesday, which Mom-of-C'Ho and Diddy will head up, leaving the remaining sinnergirls to do what sinnergirls do best. And we'll leave THAT to your imagination. Oh, and we're only weeks, perhaps only moments, away from a new baby. Cheers and encouragement to Tiffany and Harris as the happy event approaches! Here are some quotes we captured from Jennifer as she was working with C'Ho:.

CrackHo is rapidly discovering that part of this cancer adventure is learning how to partner with one's medical insurance provider.

In the interest of public service, CrackHo and the other Sinnergirls have prepared two short training videos to help guide cancer patients through the arduous process of filing a claim for wig payment through their medical insurance carrier. Posted by CrackHo at PM 4 comments:. Labels: bad language , hair , insurance , Is this Medically Necessary?? Down the early chia memory lane. Chia Video here. Labels: chia pet. Git Wiggy Wit' It. If CrackHo ever decided to have multiple personalities and on some days it seems like a good idea she would go see Miss Jennifer the Wig Queen.

And don'cha just love all the euphemisms! My hair is not falling out by the roots in large disgusting handsfull So is cancer not cancer but "Overachieving Cells"? You don't have various gastric dramas after chemo; you "Decline Food-Based Input. And I might. If I could remember where I was going with all this We know you're out there!! Someday you too can have your very own username!! Labels: chemohair , hair , release , Squeekie clean , wigs.

CrackHo always secretly wanted a Chia Pet but was too embarassed to ever put it on her Christmas List. I'll donate them to Toys for Sinnergirls Tots. But look at the Tourists we got here at the CrackShack! Posted by CrackHo at PM 3 comments:. Labels: chemohair , chia pet , chia-'ho , hair , release , sinnergirls.

Wigging Out. Sinnergirls arrived at the wigtique today not knowing quite what to expect. All in all, from Malibu's vantage point, it was poignant and fun at the same time. Let's be honest: it's hard to watch your sister yank her hair out But Jennifer, the wig master, did a fabulous job of finding what seems to be a wig of C'Ho's natural hair, with a different cut.

Trust me. If you see C-Ho on the street, you'll think she just got a new cut. It's THAT natural. Oh yeah - wigs have names. Video 2 below is not Joni having a big attack of chemo brain and wondering who she really is.

She's just trying to figure out the name of the wig. The first video is of Jennifer telling us a funny story about what happens when bad things happen to good wigs. It's a big day for the Sinnergirls, but for C'Ho in particular. We're beginning the search for supplemental hair, better known as W-I-Gs.

Not to be confused with M-I-Gs that are weapons of limited, but effective destruction Check back tonight that be Friday for videos and ruminations on what promises to be a most intellesting day. Posted by Malibu Barbie at AM 4 comments:. Labels: migs and launching either , wigs. Tuesday, August 12, CrackHo knows how to please her man! A man of simple pleasures.

What you don't see is the brew-ski and bag of Cheetos deep fried. Please welcome Ken to the Sinnergirls world. He was donated to CrackHo by the 'Ho's bud J. Thanks, gurl! Below is the post-Spinal Tap video of whether or not Ken is anatomically correct. Could 'splain a lottttt of thanggggs in this world! And yes, that is still CrackHo's Own Hair. But for the first time in the 'Ho's life it seems she may do something Early: that is, lose her hair. Predicted for later like late August, early September , the hair fallout seems to have begun.

Stay tuned for adventures in wigging out. Like, hair. Posted by CrackHo at AM 5 comments:. Labels: cheetos , hair , Ken , spinal tap. Black Canary Barbie has been spending a lazy Saturday morning going through old photos of her children and watching a movie heavily recommended by my "soon to be" daughter in law Lauren Young. Much to my delight this movie fits perfectly into the sinnergirl reportoire of must watch senseless, funny movies As a forwarning to those with snobby movie taste, the Sinnergirl list begins with Talladega Nights!

When in the need for laughter and snorting I highly recommend watching "Norbit". Raspushia Lattimore's view of the world and her large, womanly self is perfect! I want to hand off an enlightening quote to those of you out there who hesitate to do for yourself even wholesome sinnergirls love mani-pedis.

Ras says Welcome to the club Raspushia Lattimore! Labels: movie recommendation. Thursday, August 7, 'Ho on the Road. First, a fashion update from last weekend as Mother o'CrackHo put together a new look for the Crackster as I prepared for a Social Engagement.

A new visual for ChemoHair. A big shout-out to Diddy for filming and not hitting the "erase" button. CrackHo is staying at the Hyatt at Hamburger University yes, the Golden Arches type burger , which is decorated with all manner of Golden Arches memorabilia.

Between 4-hour naps, lo and behold, I discovered just outside the CrackHo room at Hamburger University, the following Tribute and Reminder that Ho-ness is not confined to any One Location. Apologies for not editing Labels: chemohair , diddy , mother.

Wednesday, August 6, Hey there Kens and Barbies Malibu so greatly shared our news that we are all still busy handling the day to day. Wanted you all to know that Joni is also having chemo on Monday via spinal fluid. Don't know all the details except the wonderful Doc Hen feels that to cover all the places the big, bad lymphoma may want to travel to he wants to do this "extree" chemo to zap any untraceable gunk that may be floating around.

We all love his thoroughness!! Our new granddaughter will probably make an early entrance around September 1st. Can't wait! Should know more after Tiffany goes to the doctor again tomorrow. The oldest son of BCB, oldest nephew of Aunt Crack Ho checks blogg and must share his thoughts on this upcoming grand event in the comments column Labels: zapping the heck out of lymphoma.

We're still here. For those of you wondering where we've been, well, we've been around. C-Ho is through with her first treatment, and won't have another until late-ish August.

She's currently "on assignment" and not-as-available for posting at the moment; Black Canary is diligently serving clients who've been awaiting her special attention, while she multi-tasks by prepping for grandparenthood, and Malibu is a'working. We'll update more later! Check back soon. Saturday, August 2, She's freaky and I like it. Crack-Ho: This one goes out to you, from your loving bro-in-law, Freebster Boings.

He's rockin' to a song about you by Justin Timberlake, lyrics as follows:. She's got me love stoned Man I swear she's bad and she knows I think that she knows She's freaky and she knows it She's freaky, but I like it She shuts the room down The way she walks and causes a fuss The baddest in town She's flawless like some uncut ice I hope she's goin' home with me tonight And all she wants is to dance That's why you'll find her on the floor But you don't have a chance Unless you move the way that she likes That's why she's goin' home with me tonight.

Posted by Malibu Barbie at PM 5 comments:. Labels: freaky , freebster boings , justin timberlake. Enthused Infusion. Who can turn a trip to the "ladies' room" with a chemo infusion hookup into a new age music event? Crack-Ho can! Posted by Malibu Barbie at AM 3 comments:. After all, when one is sucking chard straight into the arteries, one rockets to a whole new level of "Cheap Date. Labels: date , port , radiology , Squeekie clean.

We try to ask only the most important questions Of the many questions we posited to Doc Hen a week or so ago were such pressing queries as: Can Crack Ho clean out the kitty litter box while infusing? Can I continue to paddle on the river? Without even blinking, Hen said "Yes! And I like them blue shooz! Thursday, July 31, Infusion Numero Uno. Phase Two is tomorrow. Today was uneventful, as far as possible negative reactions go.

A couple of hives broke out, but nothing Nurse Ashley couldn't take care of with an extree drip of Benadryl in that Infusion Cocktail. Thanks Ashley! Mother of Crack-Ho was present for the inaugural infusion, as well. Photo of C-Ho waiting to begin the drip to the right.

See how relaxed she is? Yeah, baby. Posted by Malibu Barbie at PM 8 comments:. Check if Sinnergirls. Potentially Legit Maybe the website has not much traffic but seems safe. Report was last updated 18 days ago Update Now Here is why we made this classification:.

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